Lost is finally over

It’s finally over! After having only seen a portion of Lost’s first season, I know there was a smoke monster, a plane crash and a polar bear. I also knowI’m glad it’s over. Like Apple fans, Lost fans will let you know that there’s an exciting new episode coming up and that Locke might be the third child of one of The Others who secretly created the Dharma Initiative that created another dimension where the plane didn’t crash and…you get the idea.

My show was Sopranos. Always has been always will. I wondered if Sopranos fans were as annoying as Lost fans when the series finale was nearing. I’d like to think we were all Gary Cooper types. We held our cards close and took a barely audible sigh of relief once it was all over.

My problem is people actually compared the Lost finale (which I’ll remind you I haven’t seen) to the Sopranos finale. And they stated this like it was a bad thing. Let me go on the record: there was nothing wrong about the Sopranos’ abrupt cut to black. Yes, I leapt off my couch in cold sweat and ran to my cable box like everyone else, only to look like a fool when the credits rolled (some Gary Cooper), but there was no other way such an epic television series could have ended. Journey‘s Don’t Stop Believing was introduced to a whole new generation because of it! I even hear there’s a cover version of the song on another TV show I’ll never watch called Glee.

The question I have for the Lost superfans is: Was it worth it? All the convoluted story lines that never got wrapped up. All the tangents and mysteries. If a writer is throwing them at you like a monkey throws dung, don’t you expect that your furtive guesses and candle-lit winedrunk conversations about plot lines with friends will produce something more than a “so long, and thanks for all the ratings”?

I liken shows like Lost, Prison Break and even House to some extent as “gotcha” entertainment. Every commercial break is a cliffhanger with more intense consequences than the last. Add up all five or six breaks and all the red herrings they threw in just to keep you coming back after your bathroom break and it becomes an unsatisfying roller coaster. Yes, drama done well is a roller coaster, but it always amounts to something. Not more  running from cops, not more pill popping and patient assaulting and definitely not more wandering around a desert island searching for reality.

My solution for any unsatisfied Lost fans is let me write your finale. I will give you a definite, albeit random, answer to every plot question you’ve ever had. Then we’ll both have peace.

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